Depression & Other Magic Tricks Page 5

  pump of this heart / the way it does not know how

  to hold back

  i exhale / & i begin

  acknowledgments

  first & forever: Santina/mamabear, Jimmy/pops & Jesse. my step-father Tony. my stepmotherfriend Danielle - this collection would not be possible without the lifetime we have spent learning how to love each other. thank you for your patience. // Nanny & Papa: thank you for providing me with an unwavering foundation. Meme: thank you for showing me what it is to be a resilient woman. my grandfather Jack & Nonna G live in my fondest memories. // my many aunts, uncles & cousins of The Sunday Dinner Crew, The Friday Dinner Crew & The Nonna G’s Crew, with special thanks to Uncle Sam, the Diagon Palleys & my girl, Victoria. // my second parents, Lina & Ralph, The Fabulous Ladies of Yolo & Donna: you have each been profound influences.

  the good folks of Button Poetry: Sam, Dylan, Riley, Nikki, Sarah, Bernard…thank you thank you thank you!!! for believing in me, for believing in my work & for really making my dreams come true. y’all are the best. // Hanif Abdurraqib - to have had you on my side for this journey was a true blessing. you are a gift to this world.

  my very good friends: Shane, Cameron, Emma, Holly, Katherine, Matthew, Michael, Arjun, Jill, Greg, Christian, Madeline, Kathryn, Mandee, Steph, & my soulmate Chimwemwe Undi…there are not enough words, so let’s just dance until we’re old & grey. // Amanda, Kristin, Viktoria & Marlo: thank you for nurturing my writing in the early days. without your support then, i don’t know where i would be now. // to the revolving members of The Roo Crew (big love to Sarah, Jared, & Shane): thank you for the last 8 years of sharing magic. // A Big Thank You to Ryan for teaching me to throw a bullseye.

  the Canadian spoken word poetry community, with special thanks to these glowing hearts within it: Ian Keteku - GT!!! Andrea Thompson, Britta B, Missy Peters & Dave Morris, Brendan McLeod, Andre Prefontaine, Matt ‘LipBalm’ Miller, Estefania ‘yes’ Alfonso, Aaron Simm, Brendan Flaherty, Harriet Wilder, Isaac Bond, Brad Morden, Jillian Christmas, Duncan Shields, Tasha Receno, Erin-Brooke Kirsh, Sean McGarragle, Emilee Nimetz #doublepirouette, Chris Gilpin, Dana ID Matthews, Sonya Littlejohn, Dia Davina, Matt Loeb, Johnny Macrae, Shayne avec-i-grec, Mitcholos Touchie, , Scott Thompson, Colin Michael Matty, Steve Currie, Liam Coady, Erin Dingle, Sheri D Wilson, Tanya Evanson, Mary Pinkoski, Nasra Adem, Nisha Patel, Ahmad Knowmadic Ali, Kaz Mega, Alasdair, Danielle Altrogge, D’J, Mike Johnson, Rabbit Richards, El Jones, Andre Fenton, Rebecca Lea Thomas, Deidre Lee, Khaleefa ‘Apollo The Child’ Hamdan, Blue, Billy The Kid, Nina Vuleta, Kay Kassirer, DMP, Jamaal Jackson Rogers, Alessandra Naccarato, Elyse Maltin, Jen Slade, Alyssa Ginsberg, Charlie C Petch, Dave Silverberg, Tomy Bewick, Anto Chan, Ifrah Hussien, Holly Painter, The Ragdolls, Rose Jang, Niambi Leigh!!! Toronto Poetry Slam, Wordspell, The Supermarket, The Drake, Avery the Bartender, & last but certainly not least, honorary Canadian Mighty Mike Mcgee - Thank you for accepting my friendship bracelets, for holding space & stages for my work in its many forms, for playing at VFSW, but mostly for graciously giving your time, your energy, your support & your work, which all have moved me to be better in every way.

  Rest In Power Zaccheus Jackson Nyce.

  in an effort not to list 10,000 more poets, please forgive me for saying that if we are Facebook friends & you are a poet then I would like to thank YOU for the necessary & inspiring work you do. honorable mention to Rudy Francisco for being a real friend since early on in this wild ride.

  in no particular order I’d like to take a moment to show gratitude to the following: Beyoncé. bobby pins. peanut m&ms. the moon. coffee. Seawitch fish & chips. the tv show Steven Universe. flowers. fast-moving clouds. coconut water. Whitney Houston. the state of Kentucky. John Mayer. Moleskin notebooks. doctors. grey t-shirts. the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. rocks, especially quartz. my favorite mug with Zac Efron’s face on it. green juice. bonnaroo. Timbits. blue pens. headphones. a polka dot backpack. baggy jeans. trees. peppermint tea. cooking shows of all kinds. books. Ford Escapes. crispy m&ms. bananas. the Toronto Blue Jays. the TTC. mini dachshunds. the internet. Jimmy’s Coffee. & baristas everywhere.

  to the boys who did not love me back: thank you for the inspiration. // with an extra special shout out to CS whose friendship is pretty cool.

  to you, the reader, thank you for taking the time to listen, understand, grieve, remember, learn & love, with me. i am a well of bottomless gratitude. i am carebear-staring it toward you. we are never truly as alone as we feel. thank you. thank you & hello.

  about the author

  Sabrina Benaim is a writer, performance & teaching artist, whose home base is Toronto. She was a member of the Canadian championship-winning 2014 Toronto Poetry Slam team, & in 2015, she represented Toronto at the Women Of The World Poetry Slam. Sabrina has written poems for ESPNW, The Government of Canada, & most recently, made her Canadian television debut with Sport Chek, writing & voicing the third installment of their #WhatItTakes Olympic Manifesto video series. Sabrina enjoys breaking down stigma, women who help women, & the Toronto Blue Jays. She will accept any invitation to dance.

  other books by button poetry

  If you enjoyed this book, please consider checking out some of our others, below. Readers like you allow us to keep broadcasting and publishing. Thank you!

  Aziza Barnes, me Aunt Jemima and the nailgun.

  J. Scott Brownlee, Highway or Belief

  Nate Marshall, Blood Percussion

  Sam Sax, A Guide to Undressing Your Monsters

  Mahogany L. Browne, smudge

  Neil Hilborn, Our Numbered Days

  Sierra DeMulder, We Slept Here

  Danez Smith, black movie

  Cameron Awkward-Rich, Transit

  Jacqui Germain, When the Ghosts Come Ashore

  Hanif Willis-Abdurraqib, The Crown Ain’t Worth Much

  Aaron Coleman, St. Trigger

  Olivia Gatwood, New American Best Friend

  Donte Collins, Autopsy

  Melissa Lozada-Oliva, Peluda

  William Evans, Still Can’t Do My Daughter’s Hair

  Rudy Francisco, Helium

  Available at buttonpoetry.com/shop and more!